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This article needs major writing and format revision to meet current standards under its new management. No one was kissed here.

"I'm so disappointed. I'm going to cry."

Batayan (バタヤン) is a 30-year-old street performer who has a great love of music. His desire to be a great artist conflicts with societal pressure to get a job, making him question the long-term viability of his dreams.

Profile and Appearance[]

Batayn is a pale young man with orange-brown hair, square glasses and squinted eyes, and very exaggerated buckteeth. He wears a blue suit and black shoes and is always carrying around a guitar and a can for tip money earned from street performing, He lives in a trailer home south of Poor Boy's house and frequently roams town to either perform or gossip with neighbors.

Daily Schedule[]

10:30am Wakes up
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Gossip and Knowledge[]

Batayan will mainly talk about his own experiences with other residents, letting Poor Boy in on some secrets depending on whose card is shown. Batayan can provide some helpful advice and tell Poor Boy what not to do, but usually ends up gossiping.

Card Information[]

Item Information[]

How to Kiss[]

Behavior and Viva Conditions[]

  1. Give him the flier you get from the Funny Bone Factory chief, he then starts working there.
  2. Go and sleep at you house and in the morning check you mail-box, you should get the 1-Day Manager Pass. Return to the factory early with the pass and take the tour.
  1. Talk to all the workers in the first area and one will give you Scarecrow's letter.
  2. Take the letter to Scarecrow Field and give the letter to Scarecrow. Go into his house and read his diary for the safe combination.
  3. Return to the factory and take the tour again, this time hide in the area with the lazy guard. (One of the workers will tell you, so ask around.)
  4. Now go to the subway and put in the combination you got from Scarecrow's diary: 123, 321, 444, 564. You'll have to activate the tram and re-enter the subway for each combination.
  5. Get the Boss Card from the safe.
  6. Take the tour again with the Boss Card and fire Batayan. Now return to Batayan's house and speak to him for his kiss.


  • Batayan is a fan of insects and can distinguish Sleepicadas from Dead Cicadas.
  • His employee number is 9976th, the largest number of any of the factory employees. This could be because he is the most recent hire.
  • Once Poor Boy has Batayan's kiss, he can give him 100z by the fountain at night. He'll sing "Widower's Serenade" and restore some of Poor Boy's health.
  • "Batayan" (バタヤン, or ばたやん) was a nom de plume used by several Japanese musicians and comedians of the 20th century, most notably Tabata Yoshio.


Batayan working, as depicted by the Japanese guidebook.